Eradicate can't..

I was pondering after one self review, what is the cause of all my problems? Its cliched and simple, its me simply saying 'I can't/ I don't know how'

So I set myself tasks to erdicate the cannot-dos in life:
1. I can talk bullshit without an MBA degree (well, atleast I can surely write BS, please read this blog for further reference  (besides 9/11 post))
2. I can be diplomatic (I just need to stop growling and talk comprehensibly. Also, stop showing people the finger)
3. I have to stop talking numbers and speak in English (Stop talking in greek..numbers)
4. Stand beside my points (Give up on beer, no wonder you keep stumbling)

5. I can remember (Well, I remembered even if two days later to post this)

In memory - 9/11

The day. The hour. The lives.
Ash all over. World was vulnerable. Innocent lives gone.

One man almost succeeded in destroying humanity, but forgot 'what a bitch spirit is..It can set right the wrong..Help find faith. It is the finger the man needed to see and was shown'

Hope the pain all though still burning, does not scorch the soul anymore.

What do I care?

Well, this post stems from experience in my favorite city on earth (Will reveal the name of that some time in the future).
There was this guy working with me as an intern, similar to 100 other interns who had landed in the city to work for free for this organization. Few of you, I think might know of what I am talking about. Anyhow, so he would keep asking me to come with him to his place or just step for drinks or something. I was really naive, fresh out of security blanket experiencing a whole new world.
I would laugh at his suggestion most of the time or put it off by saying, yeah, later for sure. He was good looking and funny/charming, but all that was going in my brain was "What would my other intern friends think of this?" (Yeah, I would then get embarrassed easily and I did hate being in the limelight). All I had to say to myself was " Screw the rest, I am just going to do what I feel like, so that I don't muse on this later and get it out of my system now".
That is what I had to do, get it out my system and feel good about it. But instead, I did not grab the opportunity when it presented itself. Till date ,I curse myself for being so stupid. I hope my bad luck in finding good men ends soon or at least an opportunity should present itself for me to consider (I have plenty right now (opportunity I meant) , but simply not worth my time)
Just once I ask, send the adorable horn-rimmed glasses wearing guy my way back again. If nothing, I would really be interested in learning to pronounce his name. Till date, its beyond me and Google did not help much.

Evaluation of butterflies in my stomach

I have decided on a new thing, besides my not so regular update on listening and reading, its crush count or as I lam calling it for now 'Sigh, if only..'
Starting with famous folks (and given the world cup- football)
and here is..
1. David Villa.. short but hot and don't forget the soccer thighs and sculpted abs
2. Guy who came down for a weekend (Nothing beyond tingling toes and loud sighs there, no touch involved)
3. Guy in office
4.. Guy who use to work in office.

Hmm..not bad. I have some decent excitement to look forward too now that Spain is in Finals!

Relationship woes..before it even commences

Well, where should I start? My irritation with not dating a 22 year old drummer because he can't step out and I can't sit at home idle. Did I mention that its my place he wants to lounge around in always. Me being this private person (yes, although publishing thoughts online) can't let a person whom I have only met twice enter my place. That's just not me.
And then there is the other 28 year old professional, who just does not excite me because he is not my kind.
Why can't having fun and relationships be simpler for me?

Monthly Bucket List - May '10

1. Seriously, start painting again.
2. Decide on the tattoo, get it. Its time.
3. Stop PROCRASTINATING

Friday Eve- Date night?

Young, single, and happy.
Besides, one serious setback and I always recall this one on a Friday. I just JUST can't get myself to date. Every time the though of even sitting across someone, confined to the conversation of 'About you', gives me a case of hives. Thinking, talking, trying to give it one more shot, but can never finish it successfully. Should I be blaming it on the guys I have gone out with? Can I just call them boring?

I just get so lost in my own random thoughts. Nothing,NOTHING helps. It just bugs the shit out of me. Lively and fun are two of my best characteristics, but a 1x1 with just that person for the next few hours sucks the life out of me. And I am just left clueless and as lost as ever and always wish the day ends soon and hopefully I will never see the face again.

Really should dig into this one. I keep striking out.